The user was merely defending their own life choices and preferences when confronted with criticism from their uncle. It's understandable that the user would feel the need to assert their own path, especially given the different parenting styles and values at play. While the comment about the cousins may have been harsh, it was made in the heat of the moment and shouldn't overshadow the uncle's initial criticism.
The user's arrogant and condescending remarks towards their cousins are completely unwarranted. Just because they attend private school and engage in extracurricular activities doesn't give them the right to look down on their homeschooled cousins. The user's sense of entitlement and superiority is precisely what led to this conflict. The user needs to realize the hurtful impact of their words and the chasm they've created within the family.
While the uncle initiated the conflict by criticizing the user's adopted mother's parenting, the user escalated the situation with condescending remarks about their cousins' education and future prospects. The user's comments were not only insensitive but also contributed significantly to the breakdown in communication. Both parties bear responsibility for the argument, but the user's pointed insults towards their cousins cannot be excused. Therefore, while the uncle was initially out of line, the user's retort was excessive and hurtful, warranting a degree of culpability.