The husband has been silently enduring this for six years, bearing the financial and physical burden of hosting holidays. It's not about being stingy; it's about equitable contribution and respect for the effort involved. The wife's family's consistent lack of participation is disrespectful, and the husband is justified in seeking a change to this dynamic. He is not trying to create a rift but to foster a more balanced and considerate family gathering.
The husband's sudden ultimatum is creating unnecessary tension and drama. He knew what he was getting into when he married his wife and should have addressed this issue sooner, instead of letting resentment build up. Demanding money or labor from family is crass and undermines the spirit of the holidays. The husband's actions are selfish and inconsiderate, prioritizing his comfort over family harmony. Blaming the wife's family without proper communication is just making excuses for his own selfishness.
The husband's frustration is understandable, given the long-standing imbalance in holiday contributions. However, his approach could have been more diplomatic. While it's reasonable to expect some form of participation, an abrupt demand after years of silence is likely to cause friction. The wife also bears some responsibility for not managing her family's expectations and for dismissing her husband's concerns. Clear, respectful communication is essential in resolving such issues. Both parties have valid points, but the husband's delivery lacked tact, and the wife failed to address the issue proactively. A more collaborative approach could have prevented this conflict.