The husband is simply seeking to protect his marriage and family. He's not forbidding his wife from having friends, but merely expressing concern about a potentially compromising situation. His request to meet the coworker is reasonable, not controlling. The wife's refusal to even allow a simple introduction raises red flags about her judgment and priorities.
The husband is exhibiting controlling and insecure behavior, suffocating his wife's autonomy. He's projecting his own insecurities onto a harmless situation. His 'traditional' views of marriage are outdated and oppressive. He needs to trust his wife and stop micromanaging her friendships. The fact that he went behind her back to investigate the coworker with his musician friend speaks volumes about his untrustworthy nature.
The husband's concerns are partially valid, given the coworker's history and the wife's willingness to prioritize his emotional needs over her family's. However, his approach is heavy-handed and borders on controlling. The wife, while seemingly well-intentioned, is displaying poor judgment by disregarding her husband's feelings and refusing a simple compromise like a brief meeting. Both parties need to communicate more openly and respect each other's boundaries. The husband's insecurity is palpable, but the wife's dismissive attitude towards his concerns is equally problematic. She should recognize that his feelings stem from a place of love and concern, not just control.